Life as a female in our society generally forbids one word, and that word is, DARE. The more obedient and accepting you are, the better. The more confining to the standards of the society you are, the better. The more you don’t put your mind to use, the better. And going by all these criteria, the verdict on me is definitely not good! I do not fit in the ‘desired’ mould of being a woman.
But yes, I do fit perfectly in the mould for my ‘self’. All this, because I dared. And also because I didn’t. But today, only what I dared:
Dared to Say No!
I was a person who loved to please others, who always said ‘yes’. But gradually, I have dared to say ‘no’. I have understood, that it is important for my sanity to say no to unjustified and unwarranted demands of people who do not care about me or my loved ones. Well, the loved ones who don’t care about me, are not really my loved ones.
Dared to Give Up!
I dared to give up on things which were not under my control. Though I believe that nothing is under our control, and everything is controlled by that Almighty, still, there are two kinds of factors affecting our lives namely external and internal. It is certain that external factors are not under our control. It is also certain that other people, their actions, and their behaviour is also not under our control. So I dared to give up on such factors and such people. Instead, I tried to look after the internal factors.
Dared to Speak Up!
I was always a person who believed in speaking up for the right. That is what my faith tells me. But there came a time in my life when I forgot speaking up, even for myself, let alone others. And one fine day, I looked at myself and missed the old me, who spoke up, and was happy! And back I was! Speaking up and turning around my life!
Dared to Break Free!
I dared to break free from the toxic relationships in my life. I woke up from the slumber of not recognising the toxicity in my life, and that happened when I was expecting my baby. I looked in the mirror one day, and could not recognise the person staring back at me. I cried that day, mourning the loss of the carefree, bindaas, brave, confident, and chirpy girl lost in the process of trying to keep it together in life. And it dawned on me that what I was trying to keep together was actually ruining me. The people I was trying to do it for were slowly killing the personality Almighty had gifted me with and which my parents had nurtured and polished! All my intellect was being suppressed and being thrown in the back seat. I knew it then, that I never would want my child to see me like that. So, I decided to break-free!
Dared to Be Me!
I dared to feel comfortable in my own skin. I always have, but there are superfluous ideas existing in the society which always try to shame and make one feel inferior. One such shame I have always faced is body-hair shaming. Due to my faith, I believe in keeping all my body hair intact. Have always done it. And I feel at ease with it. The belief behind this is that the Almighty is the Supreme Being, and knows the best for us. And the way he has made us is the best for us. I accept his authority and have pledged never to alter the body he has bestowed me with. One of the basic principles of my faith is, ‘Kes Guru Ki Mohar’ which translates into, ‘Hair is a gift from Almighty’, and we are supposed to nurture the hair. But the beauty standards of this society lie on a very unrealistic principle, that a woman should have a head full of hair, but the body without it. It is logically not possible! I have dared to live like I am, and not follow what the society dictates.
Dared to Live!
I dared to live again rather than just breathe! The process of healing was long, and even after more than three years, is not complete. I still feel chipped from places, but I feel alive. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I have experienced, that it takes a tribe to heal a soul. I am blessed with such a tribe. Almighty has taken care of me. With the support of family and friends as my backbone, I learnt to live again. I show a lot, but i hide even more, but I know I am moving in the right direction. I looked at life from a new perspective, developed new interests, discovered new talents, and worked on them. I am healing, and with His blessings, I know I will.
I smile again today.
I laugh heartily again today.
I enjoy my life again today.
I am free to read again today.
I have empty pages to write on again today.
I have a blank sheet to draw on again today.
I have the opportunity travel again today.
I live again today.
I still hide.
I still cry.
I still worry.
I still regret.
I still fight.
I still get scared.
I still lose focus.
But, I dare to live again today.
And one day, I will dare to shatter all the shackles around me and move towards self-realisation.
My first ever blog is a part of the Dare-a-thon hosted by The Momsteins.
I thank Saanchi from Adventures Of A Mom Life for handing over this baton of blog relay to me. She is a mommy to a beautiful little girl, and shares snippets from the lives of her human baby and her green babies. She is also on a run towards fitness post-partum. Join her in her #100daysofitness. She also has some serious life quotes spilling from her thoughts!
I hand over the baton to Archana from The Indian Parent. Hers is a unique blog, because she does not run it all alone. She runs it jointly with her husband. Hence, her blog provides a platform for Indian dads too. Head over to her blog to read about her dare!